Workplace gossip is common and is devastating to companies. Within the 2% of companies who make it to high-performance status, harmful gossip is non-existent. It's not tolerated, because they are too engaged in working on things that matter. Because their focus is on driving people up, not driving each other down.

Workplace gossip destroys the second of our 4Bs of high-performance leadership: Belonging. (Access the free "Tools to Improve Employee Performance" training) for more on the 4Bs and how to lead your team to high-performance by using them.

How much time are you losing by complaining and gossiping?

For example, how much time have you wasted, in long conversations, complaining to others about ... 

Most of us intuitively realize that people who are gossips do not have an inner world that is healthy and rich.

If someone is a workplace gossip, it is because they feel insecure/inadequate. They have a low sense of self-worth and are desperate to find some way of feeling better about themselves. And the fastest way of doing this is by putting other people down.

Contrast this with a person who shies away from gossip. These people are too busy focusing on being the best they can, on making their dent in the universe.

Think of someone you know who seems to stay away from workplace gossip

Contrast that with a person who is a known workplace gossip.

Workplace gossip causes lack of trust in relationships

Gossipmongers aren't trusted. I bet you've caught yourself wondering, as you walk away from a gossiper: "I wonder what s/he says about me when I'm not around?"

Worried about gossip in your workplace? Consider being coached by me in how to handle it.

Every relationship builds from a foundation of trust, reliability, and integrity.

As a leader, you are responsible for developing healthy relationships, both with your direct reports, your colleagues and your senior leaders.

Involving yourself in workplace gossip is a surefire way to undermine your credibility as a person and as a leader.

As tempting as it is to talk about others ... STOP IT!

It doesn't serve you or them.

Workplace gossip stops performance improvement

A big problem, when you take part in workplace gossip, is that you are telling the wrong person. Invariably you are telling a person who can't improve the performance.

Gossiping may make you feel good in the moment, (you got some frustration off your chest) but it doesn't make the issue go away, does it? Nor does it build powerful performance!

What sets high-performance leaders apart from others, is that they:

Allowing people to complain to you encourages under-performance

There are two things you should be aware of when listening to workplace gossip:

What type of leader and person are you?

You will be able to find a lot of well-justified reasons for gossiping (or whatever name you want to call it). However if you are dedicated to being a "Rockstar" Leader, then ask yourself:

In the Moment Of Choice you need to decide who am I? Am I a Message or a Warning?

What to do when you find yourself involved in workplace gossip

It is the high-performance leadership way to be the person to put a stop to the gossip. Which is fairly easy when you are dealing with your direct reports. You won't find it overly challenging to say, "Hey, I don't talk about others unless they are present. And in our team I expect you to do the same." 

However, it may become more problematic when you are amongst your peers or your leadership, and they are 'bagging' another person or group.

Use your best influence skills and let them know you prefer to focus on solutions. And that it would be best to have the other party involved in the conversation to get it fixed. It might be at this time that you will need to have a conversation with your Prostitute!

If, directly confronting the gossip, seems too unsafe, your other options are to change the topic, or find a reason to excuse yourself from the conversation. 

Don't stand there with your ears open! Even listening to it will seem like you approve of it.

So, either ask for a topic change or just walk away from the situation.

As you are role-modeling being a "gossip-free zone", your team's performance will shift. People will begin to notice that there's a great vibe going on in your team. They'll get curious and want to know what's different in your team. And that's when you can share with them your 'put-down-free zone' non-negotiable.

In the "Starting Your Ideal Leadership Role With A Bang" training, you are asked to create your non-negotiables. Then share them with your team. Whilst this training is designed for someone who is starting a new role the exercises in the program may benefit you.

When you are the one gossiping

Should you find yourself talking negatively about someone else, forgive yourself your humanity. None of us are perfect. However, be mindful to own your part of the story. Maybe you could say something like:

"I know this is unhealthy and I am gossiping, I am stepping out of my integrity, but I just need to vent. Can you listen to me and then offer me an alternative viewpoint. Or help me to develop a strategy so I can raise my concerns with the other person in more constructively."

Truthfully though, the best advice is: keep your mouth closed until you can find a way to speak about the other person. No matter what they have done, you must find a way to talk with them that honors both yourself and the other person.

The question I ask myself when I find I'm fuming about someone is, "If I am being a "Rockstar Leader" what positive things would I look for in this person, and what would I do in this moment?"

Admittedly, at times that can be very, challenging, especially if someone has done something hurtful or very annoying. However, the definition of unconditional love is to "look through the eyes of your higher source and find the good". It's always there. Just sometimes the good is buried underneath the gunk that is life.