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Worried that your team members are sabotaging because you have short fuse?
There is a step in a successful goal setting that many people miss. Let me share a story with you that illustrates this step beautifully .... (This story began in 2008 - see below for updates)
Start of 2008 -
Jesinta Campbell - that's probably a name you haven't heard before, but I have a sneaking suspicion it is one that you might well catch in the future (and remember you heard it here first lol!).
Jesinta is an adorable young 17-year-old, who is about to graduate from high school, who sits with the world at her feet. I've known Jes since she was 7-years old, and in recent years she was Connor's #1 babysitter. I couldn't have prescribed a better role model for my daughter.
Now you may be wondering where is this going? And, what has it got to do with goal setting? Well, bear with me for a moment or two ...
Jes has been picked up by a modeling agency, and she's about to head overseas to do some modeling. But her real focus is on becoming an actress. She is using the modeling as one of her stepping stones, toward her acting career. From this platform, she wants to be able to contribute to the world through charity work.
As she excitedly told me about her plans, she made the comment that some 'wiser' people have told her to have backup plans 'just in case'. My response to her was "Ignore them!" I asked her, "Does that advice come from people who are living the life that you aspire to?"
Her response in a moment. Let's take a look at why you don't want a backup plan. Even how it could be a hindrance to successful goal setting ...
For Successful Goal Setting a 'Plan B' Could be a Hinderance
I have read many books and interviews by/about highly successful people. It seems the vast majority of them have a Plan A, and never a Plan B. Because Plan B just isn't an option. If they are excited by and drawn to something, then they commit to it whole-heartedly.
Put a backup plan in place. Guess what you are calling to you. The backup plan. Having a backup plan tells yourself and everyone else that you don't back yourself. You don't believe you have what it takes to achieve your dreams.
Give yourself a way out, and you give yourself a sure-fire way to sabotage your success.
Give yourself a way out, and you give yourself a sure-fire way to sabotage your success
Check out what Seal had to say to a contestant during The Voice Australia, 2013, about having a backup plan.
The biggest challenge, the biggest obstacle, most of us face when trying to achieve our goals/dreams/desires is what goes on within our mind.
And unfortunately, most of us have a sabotage button built in to ourselves! Because you may have experienced some failures in your life, your belief in yourself may not be as strong as it was when you were younger. Therefore, your internal chatter can have a deeply negative impact on your performance.
So to reiterate ... For Successful Goal Setting ... have only a Plan A!
For Successful Goal Setting Give Your Undivided Attention to What You Want
Focus on what you want and give it your undivided attention. Every time you think of what you want, fill yourself with the expectation that it is going to unfold perfectly. Try to banish, as much as you can, those negative nelly thoughts.
Michelle Obama lives a meaningful and accomplished life. Which I believe she would have done even if she hadn't been married to a POTUS. She appears to stick mostly to a 'Plan A' only view of the world. Michelle is quoted as saying "failure is a feeling long before it's an actual result"
failure is a feeling
long before it is an actual result
When you only have a Plan A, you may fail. But if you have a Plan A, and a Plan B, most people's self-worth and focus isn't strong enough to stay focused on Plan A. So they often settle for Plan B. Which means a real fail.
When you only have a Plan A you may fail.
But if you have a Plan A and a Plan B most people aren't
strong enough to stay focused on Plan A.
So they often settle for Plan B. Which means a real fail.
Let me encourage you. Your biggest obstacle is often that space between your ears! It's not as hard to achieve success and your goals as you make it out in your head.
I know, that when I first went into business for myself there was a part of me that thought: "If push comes to shove and it doesn't work out - I can always go back into a paid job."
As my inner circle knows, that almost happened in the early days of this business.
Then one day, I awakened with a decision firmly implanted in my mind. I decided, "No, a job is no longer an option for me". That day I unreservedly committed to my dream.
Amazingly, once Plan B was no longer an option, then magic happened.
Your biggest obstacle is often that space between your ears!
Committing myself to my dream meant all of a sudden opportunities started coming my way. Seemingly out of the blue. If anything was to convince me that successful goal setting started first in my head, it was this experience!
With that alignment, it was easy for the Universe to get behind me and help line up all that it is I wanted.
I sit here today having faced some challenging times. But so completely happy! It is about faith without evidence.
Do you really know how electricity works? If you're like the vast majority of the population you don't. Yet each time you flick on a light switch you aren't thinking about a Plan B. That's how you want to treat your goals. Just flick the switch and have a positive expectation that it will eventually unfold.
I'm not saying there may not be detours. But always keep your focus on Plan A!
You might have to detour ...
but always keep your focus on Plan A!
I'm so glad I made the decision to only have Plan A. And yes, it was as simple as that - a decision. So, for successful goal setting, make a firm decision to give your undivided focus to where you are heading.
You Need to Know What is Calling You
What dream, hope, desire do you have that you've been sabotaging because you have a plan B? Or, worse still you're living Plan B? Break off the shackle and give your undivided attention to what you want. My challenge to you is ... after reading this article, ask yourself,
For more tips on successful goal setting, you can access our free training Potential into Reality. With this training you will deepen your belief in focusing on what you want.... not settling for second best.
For Successful Goal Setting You Must Bring Yourself into Alignment
When you fill yourself with hope, joy, enthusiasm about your dream, and consistently hold those emotions, you move yourself a long way down the path to drawing your dream to you.
Potential Roadblock: If every time you think of your dream, you come from a place of desperation, fear, sadness, uncertainty, disillusionment - you will likely push it away. You will put the brakes on your successful goal setting process.
The balancing act is to be joyfully expecting your dream to manifest, while being very very happy with where you find yourself today. I love a line of Abraham's "Happy where I am, and eager for more!"
Happy where I am ... eager for more!
Like Colonel Sanders, of KFC fame, you may have grey hair before you achieve your dream. Yet, if you can be happy along the way and hold the faith, you can't help but be successful in the real sense of the word.
I've discovered that when I hold myself to living in a place of delighted anticipation, joyous hope, happy to be experiencing each moment, however, it unfolds ... well, life is delicious. Even when I haven't quite achieved yet all that I desire.
But I never put a Plan B in place. I simply ask myself: What new actions, focus, feelings do I need to have around my goal to bring it to life"
What new actions, focus, feelings do I need to have around my goal to bring it to life?
Jesinta's Successful Goal Setting
Back to Jesinta - and this is why I adore this young woman so much. Her response to me - (before I got the chance to ramble as I have here with you) was: "I'm glad you said to ignore it, because that's what I was thinking. I want to focus all my energy into making this work because if I have a Plan B, it means I don't believe in myself".
What a wise 17-year-old! Do you need to listen to some wisdom from a 17-year-old :)? Because watch how her story unfolds. She takes detours, but her ultimate goal of having a positive impact on the world through charity is coming to life.
Jesinta is living her dream and is currently in China doing shoots for Prada and Tiffanys! And she is not yet 18 years old!
And, if you are sitting there thinking ... well that's alright for her she doesn't have a mortgage, wife, husband, kids blah blah blah ... well you're wrong. She does have commitments. However, what she also has, in bucket loads is belief in herself. An attitude that so many of us who have become 'older and wiser' have forgotten!
Use the Flick Back/Flick Up Technique
If you have a few grey hairs, and you find yourself giving up on your dreams then the flick back/flick up technique could help. This is a technique I learned in the Thought Patterns for High Performance Program. What you do is cast your mind back to a time when you felt successful. Felt invincible. Now, try to immerse yourself in that situation.
Visualize how you felt, how you held yourself.
Then keeping those positive feelings, think about your goal. Visualize yourself being successful in your new situation.
Then think about the next action step you can take to shift closer to your goal.
Now go and take what we call Inspired Action. While you're taking action keep doing the Flick Back/Flick Up technique to keep yourself in a state of positive expectation.
Think that's a load of hogwash? Go out and take action on something holding your body in a depressed state. Telling yourself that you are an idiot for thinking you could achieve 'this' goal. Do you seriously think a person who is depressed and has negative chatter in their mind can be as successful as someone who is holding themselves confidently, thinking positively?
Trust me on this one, I do it all the time and life is amazing when you only follow Plan A
Update June 2010
Guess who was just crowned Miss Universe Australia??
I said at the start of this article that you would be hearing from from this remarkable young woman. Jesinta's star is shining bright now. And will for years to come. Her focus, dedication and commitment to herself, and her goals sees her living a life that many others only dream of.
The Miss Universe pageant sets the stage for Jesinta to achieve her long term goals. It provides her with the platform to make the changes in the world to which she is committed. I'll let you in on a little secret - you ain't seen nothing yet! The courage, compassion, and intellect of this woman will change our world, in a remarkable way.
In the meantime we have some serious celebrating to do today! :)
Update September 2010
What a whirlwind of a ride Jes has been on. She was crowned Miss Congeniality in the Miss Universe pageant held in Las Vegas and was 3rd overall. Not bad! We are all delighted with Jes' success. But more importantly, we are thrilled to watch her bloom upon her return to Australia.
The exposure she has gained, through the Miss Universe experience, has meant many t.v gigs for her here in Australia. But most importantly her profile has meant that she has been able to contribute, in meaningful ways, to the causes which she holds so dear to her heart.
Stay tuned - this wonderful young woman will continue to impact our world!
Jes's Plan A keeps moving forward at a rapid rate.
She performed magnificently in the Australian Celebrity Apprentice show. For those of you in Australia who watched the series ... you absolutely got to see, the young woman we all know and love. How she appeared on the show is exactly as we, who know her, find her.
It has been a great couple of years for Jesinta - with her life continuing to blossom as she grows into her self and her womanhood. She performed on Dancing With the Stars and raised over $160,000 for her chosen charity ... The Reach Foundation. Reach is dear to Jes's heart because she was bullied at school and Reach supported her amazingly.
Jes married her sweetheart Buddy Franklin. Together this wonderful couple will use their profile to support the causes that are close to their hearts.
Be inspired by Jesinta and her successful goal setting ... stick with your Plan A! You have no idea how your life might unfold
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