What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger! You've probably had someone attempt to cheer you up with this platitude at some time, when you were feeling disappointed, hurt, frustrated or downright rejected. But do tough times really make you stronger?
Yes, they can ... depending upon how you manage your thinking. You won't get stronger if you choose the victim path and blame others/something else for your circumstances (the weather, the government, the other person). Choosing the victim path weakens you.
Adversity can make you stronger when you make the choice to grow from it.
Want to know the extent of your personal growth? A sure sign is how quickly you bounce back from adversity. A person with limited personal growth can allow a flat battery in their car, to ruin their entire day. By investing the time and effort to grow and develop your emotional, spiritual, and mental fitness, you bounce back in a quick space of time - no matter the challenge you are faced with.
The success formula is a great tool to use to get you back on track.
An example of a person's personal growth
helping them to bounce back quickly
Recently a client had a major project unravel (one, he'd been working on for several months). If he had been successful in bringing it together it would have brought in additional revenues of many millions of dollars to his organization.
Unfortunately a totally unexpected event caused the entire project to fall to pieces. He reflected upon how a couple of years ago this 'disaster' would have set him upon a path of self-destruction: binge-drinking, drugs and over-eating. However, because of the personal transformation he has undergone, in the past year or two, he had a day or so of feeling upset and bewildered, but kept reminding himself, that this will pass. His mantra became "Hold my centered-space and learn from this so I empower myself even more".
Instead of immersing himself in alcohol, drugs and food (for possibly many months if past history was any indicator) to avoid and hide from the pain of disappointment, he focused on what he could do differently next time.
Within the space of a week he had developed a number of new strategies and even found a way of resurrecting the project so that it could still hit some of the original goals. This very power-filled client has indeed become stronger, because now he choses the path of strength, courage and wisdom.
Yes, adversity can make you stronger, when you listen to your heart, stay in your power center and make the choice to grow from it.
Over the next couple of weeks monitor how quickly you bounce back - from either the small stuff or the big stuff.
For example, do you let someone who is rude to you blow your whole day or do you brush it aside and stay within your own power center? If you discover that small events have a major impact on your day, then maybe it is time for you to up your personal growth.
Quick Tips When You Are Dealing With Adversity or Failure
- Acknowledge that it didn't work - don't try to defend or justify
- Acknowledge that you survived - over time you will learn that you can survive anything
- Clean up any messes you have created and deliver any incomplete work
- Acknowledge if you have messed up somebody's time and/or didn't deliver what you promised - heal your network of support particularly if you are angry with someone
- Review your Successes Box and get your mind in a positive framework. If you aren't already you should keep a file filled with mementos of victories, thank you notes and 'atta girl/boy' memories.
- Learn the lesson - keep a lessons book - but keep it focused on what works. You don't want to focus on what doesn't work. Make use of the principle of Law of Attraction. You don't want to focus on the problem - you want to acknowledge the problem - and then give your undivided attention to where you want to go.
- Find a mentor,
- Read books and listen to audios that inspire and provide you with a new skill or mindset
- Use the ABCDE Model.
- Re-set your goal and go after it
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